The start to a good week

I’m that guy.

You know, the loud, obnoxious dude whose just as apt to make you laugh as he is to motivate you to commit aggravated assault because he made inappropriate comments about your favorite aunt (it’s not my fault she’s hot in a trampy way).

It’s cool. I’m used to it. If you get right down to real issue, I bring all this noise on myself.

For instance, I didn’t have to play beer pong last night in nothing but my boxer briefs.

But I wanted to, so I did. I’ve been the “yeah, he takes his pants off in front of people. A lot.” guy for some time, but with my new, shapely figure I’ve taken to discarding the shirt as well. Fuck it, if you can’t appreciate a giant, sexy man in nothing save his undies, then I can’t help you.


And that’s generally how I approach life – by being the guy I want to be. Admirable? Maybe, except that it means being uncompromisingly offensive some times.

I’m fairly certain in saying that I’m a lot to take in and that it takes a special kind of person to deal with me.

So, needless to say, I’ve spent most of my time breathing with the predisposition that I’m meant to spend the rest of my life alone, prone and solo to the cruelties of the world.

While I’m okay with this proposition, it’s sort of a heavy burden to face life with the knowledge that there’s nobody on the entire planet who can help me get through this mess (although it’s sort of hard to blame anybody but myself, especially considering that I view running around the block in not but my underwear as little more than a fancifully entertaining hobby).

But not this week. For the next seven days, my cousin Ty is in town.

For those of you who don’t know, Ty is my cousin – the son and second child of my mother’s oldest sister. He’s also the only person who gets me.

We’re different in a lot of ways, mostly that, even though both of us were hardcore FFA members, Ty is conservative while I am clearly liberal. But that doesn’t matter with us. We both know why the other feels the way he does, and we can respect each other’s reasoning.

More than that, though, we’ve been best friends since we were little. Ty is two years younger than I am, but he’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother.

Last year he was my roommate, but he transferred to Utah State. I’ve felt a bit lonely without him here, but he’s back visiting for a week, and I feel good about that.